


(The Truth) Beyond The Veil

by minniethecatt



Series: Minerva Potter 'verse [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 18th june 1996, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bring Back Black | Sirius Black Returns From Beyond the Veil, Department of Mysteries, M/M, Minerva Potter Universe, Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Sirius Black Lives, Veil of Death (Harry Potter), kind of, minnieverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:55:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25128853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minniethecatt/pseuds/minniethecatt
Summary: It's 18th June 1996. They're all waiting for news at Grimmauld Place.Then the battle.Sirius falls through. Remus is alone.But, is he really?[WARNING: IT MIGHT SEEM LIKE A DEATH FIC BUT IT'S NOT, NOT REALLY]
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter (mentioned), Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Minerva Potter 'verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1734163
Kudos: 35





	(The Truth) Beyond The Veil

_18th June 1996_

They were all together at Grimmauld Place, Moody, Kingsley, Tonks, Remus and obviously Sirius who was stuck in that hell of a house for way too long now. He just couldn't take it anymore, he needed a distraction, something to do outside of that house. He could be useful for the Order even as Padfoot. But Dumbledore said it was safer if he stayed there, and he couldn't do nothing but obey.

They were all sitting together at the table in the shabby and gloomy kitchen but no one was talking except for Tonks who was trying to have a conversation with Remus, definitely too tired to even say a word. Every now and then Sirius gave him a few glances, he looked at the scars that covered his face, new ones had formed since they were young, while the older ones were almost invisible now; he looked at his eyes, at his hands, at how they were in a constant movement, at how tired and sleep-deprived he looked, and then he remembered how he – they used to be: two broken boys for very different reasons that somehow were able to heal and protect each other. But that pain seemed nothing now. He looked at how she was way too close to Remus, her hands on his arm. He remembered how he used to hold his hands to calm him down, how he stroked their back with his thumb and then turned them over and kissed his palms, he remembered the soft smile on his face after that and how he bowed his head, all embarrassed with his nose turning slightly pink.

He couldn't help but let out a sad smile. After he came back nothing seemed as it was before. Yes, he still had the same feelings, as if Remus was where he truly belonged, but something changed, something was different and he couldn't understand what it was. He was sure Remus felt the same but they didn't do anything to change the situation. They danced around it for years and now they were stuck in the middle where neither of them could make the first move.

When Remus looked up, he met Sirius' gaze fixed on him. He smiled a little but Sirius seemed lost in his thoughts to even notice him. Tonks was still talking to him, he wasn't sure what it was about, maybe something about her hair colour. His hands were trembling, his head hurted as if it was going to explode and the only thing he wanted was to go to sleep. But then something happened. A message arrived, Harry was in danger. They all stood up from the chairs, including Sirius. Remus looked at him with his sad eyes, but Sirius returned his gaze with a determined look on his face. He walked next to him and grabbed his arm, which caused a shiver down Remus' back.

"You can't tell me to stay here Remus, not now".

Remus sighed and freed himself from his grip, then grabbed his hand and looked at him in the eyes.

"Sirius we – I can't risk losing you again. Please listen to me and stay here".

"I'm fucking listening Remus, all I did was listen. This house is driving me mad, you can't even imagine how it hurts to stay here and do fucking nothing useful. Now my godson is risking his life and I can't lose him too. I've already lost James. Please Remus, please, let me come."

Remus sighed and closed his eyes. He knew Sirius was right, he couldn't stop him from coming, it was too important.

"Okay, fine, come with us" he said at last.

Sirius smiled and run to the others who were getting ready for leaving.

"Sirius!" Remus called him. Sirius stopped and turned to look at him.

"I just wanted to tell you.. I –" it was the right time, perhaps the last, to tell him. He had waited for so long and now that they were reunited he couldn't tell him.

"I know" said Sirius with a sad smile, "Me too" and then disappeared in the other room.

Those words were stuck in Remus' mind and even during the battle he thought about them. If Sirius loved him back then why did they keep waiting? He remembered the last time he said he loved him. It was right after their last year at Hogwarts, they had formed the Order and Sirius was so excited that he kissed him and said he loved him. But then things changed. The war became more violent as the days went by and they weren't strong enough. Then came the moment when they didn't even trust each other. Remus sensed when things changed, when he was no longer welcome, when he entered a room and everyone stopped talking; even Sirius looked at him suspiciously and no longer behaved the same way around him. He never said he loved him again. Not until now. Well, he didn't really say it, but Remus knew.

The battle was going on and every now and then Remus looked for Sirius in the chaos of spells and bodies that moved too fast. When his eyes lied on him and saw him fighting, still alive and well, his heart relaxed a bit. He had just defeated a Death Eater when he saw him fighting with Bellatrix. He stood there for a moment looking at him and saw a smile appear on his lips, as if he had just completed a well-done prank, just like old times. And Remus saw nothing but the lively and playful boy he used to be. But then the thing happened. She hexed him and he fell backwards, but they were too close to the arch and he fell through it, the smile still fixed on his lips.

Remus was still looking at him and felt his heart falling into his stomach. He saw his body vanishing through the veil and heard Harry screaming his name, but it was like a muffled noise, as if he was screaming through a glass. His body moved towards the boy who was now running in the veil's direction. He moved towards him to try to stop him but his mind and his body were as if they were divided, as if his body moved freely but his mind was still at the moment when he saw him die. He didn't recall holding Harry tight as he wriggled and kicked, convinced that Sirius would return, it was just a veil after all.

"We can still reach him" Harry struggled hard and viciously, but he would not let go.

"There's nothing you can do, Harry... nothing... He's gone."

Those words sounded as if he hadn't said them, as if they came from someone else's mouth. And hearing them, he realised that Sirius was really gone, that he would never see him again.

After the fight Remus went back to Grimmauld Place. He knew they couldn't use it anymore but in the last months it became his house.

Actually, everywhere Sirius was he felt at home.

Suddenly he realized he would never feel at home again. That feeling that had always accompanied him in his life would come back now and never go away, he would always feel alienated from the world.

He opened the door, the house was empty and silent. He sighed and went in the kitchen where he let his body fall on a chair. He remembered the first time he entered in that house, they organized the rooms to make everyone have a bed of their own but when Harry arrived Remus offered to find another place to sleep for himself. But Sirius disagreed and proposed to share the bed. "C'mon it's not like it is the first time" he used to say, "I promise I won't touch you" he added later when they were alone. He was smiling but Remus knew he wasn't happy, he wasn't relaxed, he wasn't comfortable with all that situation. Sometimes at night Sirius used to look for his hand, he grabbed it and put it on his hip. Remus used to hold him tight so that he could relax a bit.

He was crying, now it was he who needed to be held tight by his arms. He wanted to scream, to punch the wall, to throw all those chairs, to fall on his knees and cry, cry until he had no tears left. But he remained silent on that chair, his shoulder shaking and his head in his hands. He wanted to join him, as the hours passed he felt his life slip away from him. But he had to be strong for Harry. So he got up and went upstairs in their room. He looked around and sighed before packing his bags with all the stuff he left there. Not only he had lost the only person he had ever loved, he also had to abandon what had become home.

He went downstairs and opened the door. He looked around for the last time then sighed.

"I'm sorry Pads" he said before closing the door behind him.

***

Sirius did not care for a moment about himself, Harry was the only thing on his mind. He had to keep him safe. He had not had the chance for the time he was in Azkaban, but he would not stay put when his godson’s life was in danger, just to remain safe from the Ministry. He could not care about it. He’d almost rather go back to Azkaban than stay in that house alone, but without Harry. When they arrived to the room in which the kids were fighting against the Death Eaters his eyes wandered immediately to Harry. He was against that scum, his cousin’s husband, Lucius Malfoy. Tonks immediately cast a stunning spell against him and Harry got away. Feeling a little better, Sirius got to the field and started his duel with Dolohov. The Death Eater didn’t have a clue. He may have spent twelve years locked away, but even if he was not at his best, he knew he was one of the best duellers the Order had in any case- it had always been that way.

Dolohov tried to keep up with him, and he almost did for a while, but his resistance was not of the best. Sirius also wanted to get as soon as possible to Harry, to get him to safety, so when Dolohov was distracted trying to get the prophecy out of Harry’s hand he thought _We might as well be wizards, but still people, so fuck it, let’s put some good physical strength to fuck them up_ and he hurled out of the way, ramming the Death Eater with his shoulder sending him out of the way. They got back to their duel, but when Dolohov was trying to hit him with a spell, he heard from the side Harry’s voice “ _Petrificus Totalus!_ ”

“Nice one!” he shouted. Then ducked the two of them out of some spell. He told Harry to take the prophecy, grab Neville and get safe as fast as he could, so he could get to Bellatrix, who had just defeated Tonks.

He got to his batshit crazy cousin, still cheering about her win. They started to throw spells at each other, the bond made by blood between them completely forgotten, as it had been for the past twenty years. With the corner of his eye he saw Malfoy falling near them and Remus getting in opposition to him.

Dumbledore arrived, but he had not noticed. They were the last two on the duelling ground, but they did not know it, still close in their bubble full of rage and hate for one another.

“Come on, you can do better than that!” he yelled at her, his voice echoing in the room, after he just ducked a spark of red light directed at him. He laughed at her. She cast a second spell, and this second jet of light hit him square in the chest. He did not expect it, still recovering from his laugh, his eyes widened in shock. He felt a sense of lightness inside, and his body started to fall behind, into the veil hanging from the arch next to him. He sank backward and then nothing. He was not there anymore. The last thing he saw was the face of his godson full of fear and anxiety, and Remus just beside him looking the same way.

He felt as he was literally feeling emptiness. Did not know what existing meant, what life was. He just fell through the veil, but nothing he felt explained to him what was happening. He did not know where if he was still alive, if his body still existed, how much time had passed since he fell, what kind of death process he was going through, but then he heard a voice.

“Look who finally decided to grace us with his presence!”

It could not- he immediately turned around and saw someone he thought would never see again, two big amber eyes full of life looking intensely at him “P-Prongs? Is it really you?”

“No shit, Pads. What do you think?” he smirked at him. He did not look a day past twenty-one. Guess that’s what happens when your life ends, you stop aging.

“You’re a kid, use some respects with your elders” Sirius joked.

“You’ve always been the old one, you twat. Don’t try to use that excuse with me now”

They laughed loudly, the same way they did when they were still at school and then rushed into a bone-crushing hug. It felt so good to feel basically the other half of you reunited with your soul. Oh, how much he had missed all of this. They parted and Sirius felt his best friend’s eyes on him.

“What?”

James sighed “I hate to break it to you and our heart-warming reunion, Pads, but you have to get your fucking ass back”

“What are you talking about, James? Have you gone mad alone with Lily here?”

Prongs chuckled “No, we’re good. Really good. Because we’re together. She wanted to be here, but we felt it was better if only I kicked your ass when needed as she can get a bit… intense with these things, you know her”

Sirius smiled, he had missed his friends so much, and for so long “Then would you care to explain why I should not stay here?”

“Because my son is out there, you fucking git! You have to be there with him. You have a choice and I’m forcing you to go back because I’m your best friend and I can do it”

“But no one needs me there, I only bring bad things along with me. Harry is better without me”

“And you say I’m the one who’s gone mad. You fucker, we named you his godfather because we knew you would try to protect him no matter what. And even if you tried to put a little stupid show with that crazy cousin of yours – totally unnecessary by the way – Harry still needs you. _Remus_ does too. And Harry needs both of you beside him. _You_ are his family, not those stupid shitty muggles that are my in-laws. I still don’t understand why Dumbledore gave him to them.”

“I still ask myself that every day. If Hagrid had agreed to give him to me, I probably would have not gone after that rat scum, and that would have saved me twelve years in that shithole”

“Well, now you have the chance to be happy. To live. To be free, hopefully. Don’t waste it to stay with me here. We’ll have eternity when your time comes”

James looked at his friend with the same determination he had always had in his eyes. Sirius knew he was right. They hugged again.

Then James took Sirius by the shoulders and turned him around “Tell Harry and Remus hi from me and Lils” he whispered into his right ear. Then pushed him into darkness, but a flashlight almost blinded him.

He found himself on the ground, groaning because his back hurt from James pushing him back. _You fucker, when the time comes, I’ll make you feel this too_ , he looked around but no one was there. He got to the door from which they had entered from and found no one there too. He went around, but the entire Ministry looked empty. They must have gotten back. He disapparated straight to Grimmauld Place. The place looked empty. He entered, but no one was there.

He went into the kitchen and looked at the clock. It was the middle of the night. He thought that if Remus had gotten back he must have been exhausted, hoped to find him in their room rushed up the stairs.

He found the door open and went inside. Everything was gone. Remus had taken everything. Not even a thing was there. He must have gotten back and packed his bag. Thinking it was not _his_ place to be there anymore. He knew him, he knew how he thought. But it was _their_ place, now. It might have been the Black House, but it was _their_ house. Sirius could not stay there a moment longer. He had to get away. He had promised to James he would protect Harry. And if Harry ever needed him, he would be there one way or another. But he could not risk that what had just happened back at the Ministry to happen again. He took everything he found laying around and put it in a sack. Looking through his drawers he found a spare jumper Remus must have left by mistake. He brought it to his face and it still smelled like _him_. He took that too and went into Buckbeak’s room. He had to leave him there. He spent a few minutes there with him and then run down the stairs, closing the door behind himself, hoping to never put foot again in that cursed place.

_18 th July 1996_

Remus looked at the little window near his bed, as a noise startled him from his sleep. An owl he did not know was knocking at the window with his beak. He had a letter tied around his claw.

He opened it, still sleepy, and fed the owl some nuts he had in the room.

But what he found written inside woke him immediately.

_Dear Moony,_

_It is better to still use our Marauders names. Yes, it is me._

_I know what it must look like. I was dead – I guess – at least to all of you._

_I was trapped inside the veil for a while, I guess I kind of lost my life, but let’s say someone pushed me back to it._

_I went back to Grimmauld Place that night, no one was there, you were not there._

_I took my things and went away._

_Why have I waited this long?_

_I do not know, fear, maybe._

_But the truth is, I had to get away._

_I will still be away, for a while, I don’t know how much._

_My presence only seems to bring chaos around me and the people I care about._

_But I wanted you to know that I’m still around. This is the only thing you will hear from me._

_You still don’t believe me, I know. I’m going to tell you something that only the two of us know, so you will know it’s really me: when James and Lily asked me to be their child’s godfather I came back home and told you that those two fuckers were asking the impossible of me, that I needed you to take care of me, so how could I take care of someone else? And you answered me only with “We take care of each other, and you will take care of him or her no matter what”._

_Now I know you believe me._

_Harry kind of knows I am alive. You remember the little packet I gave him last Christmas and I moped around because he never used the mirror I gave him?_

_Well, let’s just say that he thought he was hallucinating for a while when he saw me a few days after the whole veil thing at the Ministry. I asked him not to tell anything to a soul. As long as the world know, I’m not in this world anymore. Do not feel betrayed by him, he told me to write to you as soon as possible, otherwise he would. I took my time, but I’m writing to you know. That kid is fucking scary Moons, he takes that from Lils from sure._

_In any case, I cannot promise when I’ll get back, so, please, Moons: live your life. Fully. Be happy. I cannot give anything to you right now, I don’t know if I ever will again so, please, live, do not just survive._

_Yours,_

_Padfoot_

Remus was in shock, at the bottom of the page there was a black paw print next to Sirius’s signing. He felt tears springing from his eyes, from shock, happiness, frustration. Why had he waited so much? Why did he not come back?

It did not matter now, though.

Sirius was alive. He had not died.

And that lighted his heart a bit.

He just hoped they would both see the day they finally saw each other again, hopefully not after twelve years.

And then, it would all be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> WE'RE SORRY, WE REALLY ARE  
> but without this part of the story there would have been to many plot holes as to why and how Sirius was back, so it is our way in which we decided to explain it all.
> 
> ____
> 
> The Minerva Potter Universe is the world in which if Harry and Ginny had had another daughter she would be called Minerva for sure! Moreover, in this universe Sirius and Remus live, they're now both 60 years old (in 2020) and love taking care of their grandchildren. All the other things from canon are still the same.  
> You can follow @minniethecatt on Twitter to get first access to the content and other gems!  
> [We own no character written by J.K. Rowling]


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